going out for drinks with a married man

Going out for drinks. Am I being a typical insecure guy on this? It eventually drove me crazy when guys would invite me over for something innocuous like beer and board games and I'd have to turn the invite down because I was "due home" to spend time with the ex. Candice Watters is the author of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help it Happen, and co-author with her husband, Steve, of Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies.Together they created Boundless in 1998. But she didn't do that, she turned it all around on him. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Married men know the power of a charm offensive. Registered Joined Jan 26, 2012 Walked in and whos sitting right next to my wife, yep B was face to face having some sort of deep conversation. A. M. Cazares Mother, Author, and Pro Se Litigant (1997-present) Author has 3K answers and 1.2M answer views 1 y Related A new female coworker asked my husband for his socials knowing he's married. All of my married friends talk about their families when we're together, although since I have no kids or husband, they realize I can't relate beyond listening to the story. If were going to start making rules about when who is and isnt allowed to fix the cable, the cables never going to get fixed. If he wants to see her, suggest she comes round for dinner and drinks at yours. I feel bad for you for beating on yourself for something that was beyond your control. If it is purely as just friends, then yes. Maybe it is a bonus season, or she just landed a major deal. But my friend raised the stakes by proposing similar hypothetical situations that werent as easy to dismiss. 2. Going above and beyond to help you out, not once or twice but over and over again is among the obvious signs that a married man loves you. what do I do? She seems to think that there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with going out with her two male co-workers (both of them are in relationships btw) and getting smashed for 8 hours without me there. It's not controlling to be wary of what your wife is up to when she is hanging out with a newly single woman and going to bars until closing. But the others were one-nighters or friends with benefits eager conspirators. would he want to have an affair with me? the problem is that what is your wife doing while the GF . He'd call me at home or try to get me alone with him "just to talk", and it was really hard to constantly tell him I didn't believe in having affairs, including emotional affairs. If your single and you have met a man and hes married would it be acceptable to go out for a drink with him without his wife as friends? Be diligent and thorough. These things all happened with different women, and are just some of the more egregious examples. Sureoccasionally. But to divorce someone over it? If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number. 1)avoid married men. From here on out, it's about being emotionally and financially protected. Of course, women have many reasons to smile. You've given him X amount of years of your life and given him two beautiful children. female Its way to stressful to be the sender and receiver. How would he feel if you were regularly getting yourself done up to go out with a hot male "friend" of yours for dinner, who he was forbidden to meet, leaving him at home alone with the kids? You know what that means- play fighting. Registered in England. But, isn't socializing and schmoozing a part of work life, and a way to get contacts, climb the work ladder, etc? Earlier this year, I had to deal with a overly and overtly flirty co-worker; I just turned a blind eye/ear to whatever he said/did. Gorgeous, buff, hilarious, intelligent and accomplished - just my type. 5. In any event, like CAD and LavendarDove said earlier, I think the key is to act naturally and NOT treat male colleagues differently from female ones or treat them as if they are potential predators (Of course, I am NOT saying that YOU do this). Usually guys will start going to the bar alone if they are starting to build up the guts to cheat. When I met my husband, he had a good friend at work, a single girl, who is EXTREMELY flirtatious, and at least a little annoying. Finally she calls me back around 9:20 asking me whats up. LOL. Room service and fresh linens and everybody all suited up and shit. (Still, he said, hed be OK with it.) I saw the texts. That should be an obvious sign you're dating a married man. It might be worth saving your marriage to take a little time off of work and look into things.without her knowing you're off, of course. I think you're both right that no matter how someone behaves towards me, if I don't respond then nothing can happen. Any thoughts or feedback would be greatly appreciated! During the icebreaker we were hitting it off - flirting and teasing, complimenting each other, you know - and then one of his colleagues comes over and asks about his wife." I guess I blame myself for not taking enough responsibility for my behavior by not noticing enough red flags, and that's how I felt with the sexual assault as well. if its a guys night out and its like 10 buddys sure, if hes going by himself, somethings a foot.Going out with your buddys is homosocial behavior, A typical of men. If a married man has one mistress, the chances are good that he also has others (or is on the lookout for others). Its up to us, as always, to keep each other happy by working out the rules on our own. He was fired the next day. He plays like it's a middle school. My husband and his friends will have a "guys" weekend once a year. Men under 30 aren't going on dates . I agree with the poster above who said the signs are usually pretty easy to read and I think your radar is in tune enough not to miss them. A man with two kids of his own mused that the most upsetting aspect of his wife going on a business trip with someone else wouldnt be the specter of infidelityit would be the idea of her enjoying someplace luxurious and not covered with kids toys. She did tell you and invite you. I think he was flattered with the attention. I take it she will know nothing about it? If we leave work at 5 and stay out until midnightor later. I Thought I Had A Headache. Kalypsok @Tara, "but the men go to meet beautiful women". No, again, that's weird and the main goal here is not to be weird. Some people even smile more often when they're in the presence of someone for whom they have developed feelings. The fact he won't let you meet and be-friend her is what I find most incriminating. Done it dozens of times..I worked in an industry and at a level was male dominated. If she had 3-4 drinks with them & then came home after 2-3 hours I'd be telling you to power down & remain calm. Yes, this includes more than just our parents - it includes other women as well. Have there been infidelity/trust issues in the past? Alleybux. When I met my husband, he had a good friend at work, a single girl, who is EXTREMELY flirtatious, and at least a little annoying. Tinder, the popular dating app, is no longer just for hookups. Is he doing it to wind u up, even if only partially. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. Copyright 1997-2022 LoveShack.org. I believe marriages should be respected, treasured and protected. This doesn't just mean don't cheat- it means keep yourself out of situations that make you look bad, even if you're innocent. Started November 26, 2022, By So draw that boundary that doesn't allow them opportunities to flirt or say/do things that might lead you down that road. What is she doing, what is he doing going for drinks, going back to his office, why are they in a car together?" Good point. It's perfectly acceptable and normal to hang out together. He has helped men from all over the world to easily fix relationship . I can't say I have kept to either of them. 3) She has lost interest in you. But to see a married man entertaining the same single. I think having a few drinks with colleagues is normal. Please don't. 12) Join the dating scene. Feeling down or depressed is a common experience for many people at some point in their lives. Right from the off, I said I was uncomfortable with them spending time together alone for lunches, dinner, drinks etc. The odd man (married or unmarried) may hit on you. Obviously my view is not the popular one! I've never been in this situation before and would appreciate your input. in a tone like asking "is it really a big deal?" And if for some reason I didn't do that and he called me worried, I'd apologize. How you feel is totally acceptable. female Depends on you as a person, if you are one of those people that feel you have some reponsibility towards his wife no. Maybe your husband likes the attention, especially if you have young children. Started November 16, 2022, I'm constantly worried about doing inappropriate things that may inadvertently signal to a married man that I'm open to an affair. Actually . Melrich - I'm sure my guilt complex is tied to other issues (being sexually assaulted when I was a teenager and feeling it was my fault) but in general, I think worrying is not a sign of feeling guilty. I guess it is also about the venue and location. . It doesn't really matter what their motivation is, it is your actions that will control whether it goes further. And out of nowhere, you're crushing on your co-worker, your friend or even your neighbor. Servedcold, I can definitely see you becoming a lot more enticing to all the females if they thought you made that much everyday. Answer: I think you'll both be happier if you let her go out with friends within reason, of course. No, it's not fine. On the second day, the male manager had a fire he had to put out back at the office, so he was asked to fly back home immediately. Say what you will, but there's often quite a bit of truth to jokes. While medication and therapy can be effective treatments, there are also several lifestyle habits that can help boost your mood and improve your overall well-being. If peole don't want to cheat they won't cheat even if they are alone with a business colleague. One night drinking and playing Magic? Little did they imagine how quickly 25 years would pass and that today, they'd have four children, two of them old enough to read Boundless for themselves. 1 2 Go. That way, he has something to go by so if I'm not home by 10 (or the updated time) and it would be reasonable to assume something has gone wrong. Maybe. I'm very interested in the subtle signals that lavenderdove brings ups, because whether one spends time alone with men for business or not, those are some good red flags to look out for. His family will always come first, and that . A yellow flag in my mind. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! yeah, just don't do anything you wouldn't do in front of his wife, and you're ok. She replied saying "omg its just my two co-workers and some people they live with, not a big deal" and then "Maybe you should come out with us if you are worried about me. After I got married I still spent Monday nights out, still would occasionally go to a friends place or the bar. NO WAY I get off work at 2 am and am gonna go drinking much less with male coworkers if I'm a married woman and my husband is at home. How would he react if you behaved like this? And he has picked up on it. I don't see the problem with friends of the opposite sex when you are in a relationship but this is quite different. Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. Chill out, Bill! The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. 1. reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2013): A Drinking in someone's home - a woman with several men - husband not present - wife gets pissy when questioned - enough is drunk that the person can't drive and needs to sleep it off. you don't need to experience a ton of relationships to get to know acts from a woman because you learn ton of things from one single woman. If he is going out of his way to see you then it might be because he has feelings for you. The relationship you have with this man and the relationship he has with his wife are both unique, and hard for anyone on the outside to understand, so it's tough to give generic advice in situations like these. She can meet you and the children. I can see a good gentleman in you. It became clear on our email chain, and in my own conversations with a number of friends and colleagues about the subject, that for some (but not all) people (both men and women), the situations described just dont seem quite right. Your husband has a choice to stay at the bar to entertain this single young lady or go home with his wife. It's a date!!! I was in that situation. If so then there is an underlining problem and may come down to different lifestyle problems, other relationship issues or alcohol problems. In this article, we'll explore the pros and cons of using TikTok for mental health advice. 5. I agree. Do you think you could be being oversensitive because you are in this rough patch? We had a great time. Based on when she got off work, you can't look at the hours of the day because her 2:00 a.m. is other people's 5:00 o'clock. Why was the idea of Nonspousal Alone Time so selectively unsettling? Think what your boundaries would be if you were married. There's so many ways to do this: go out with some girlfriends, jump on some dating apps, or sign up for a blind date. Obviously the friend is looking to meet guys and she is using your wife as a wingman. It is this secrecy about her that makes me feel uncomfortable on your behalf? I had nothing to hide so DH was invited along to every get together. I think it can get to the point where someone is just too paranoid to treat their married colleague like a human being. How often do they do this? If your spouse is found having group lunch meetings or individual lunches that strictly pertain to work, then that's a different story. 2022 Hearst UK is the trading name of the National Magazine Company Ltd, 30 Panton Street, Leicester Square, London, SW1Y 4AJ. Login first All rights reserved. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. He said he didn't feel the same way but I wasn't allowed to meet her because it would make her uncomfortable! I went to the bar and took my time ordering my drink while observing them before i decided to interrupt them. 1) His schedule opens up for you One of the top signs a married man is in love with a single woman is that his schedule opens up for you as if by magic. Haven't slept with the asshole. (and I would hardly call it worthwhile friendship if he doesn't even want his friend to meet the most important person in his life!). Communication is very important and a lot of things can go wrong without it. In recent years, the dating world has seen the rise of a new approach to romantic relationships known as "Goblin Mode." You have a strong gut feeling that he will come back. I act in a professional manner but I am not constantly vigilante about how to interact with a male colleague. Since that scenario is so rare, it is generally NOT a good idea for anyone to let their spouse get away with going out alone with a member of the opposite sex. btw, i've met men who are sexual predators, and others who just have poor impulse control. Only respond to mail that is work related, and ignore any personal attempts. We were colleagues and I didn't have to work on projects closely with him. The constant talking and complimenting her is also quite off. What if an attractive area parent brought his or her kid over for a play date while you were at work? if they want to spend so much time together alone, they should go out with one another, not him with me! If someone starts sending you flirty email/IM, then don't play. I wouldnt. Also be especially careful if you go on business travel with them, because lots of cheating attempts happen then. When I ever I work from home, I ping the two of them to see if they want to go to happy hour (and invite my sister and everyone else I know in the neighborhood). It doesn't mean you should divorce, but you should certainly clarify your expectations and where the boundaries are. female We had different work schedules and it created an uncomfortable dynamic in that sense. He asked me and DC's to stay with his family in the summer. Me, her, and her boyfriend. A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2013): Actually, the converse is true: it is *usually* OK for a married man to take a female friend out to lunch, whether paying for it or not (hey you invite someone to celebrate their occasion, courtesy says you pay). However, Donni mentioned, her 2am is 5pm to most folks. The fact you have not been allowed to meet her and get to know her makes me feel uncomfortable. I think this was a huge undermining of your relationship.. a year from now you may actually hear what really happened.. Passive aggressively being angry about it afterwards does nothing but breed confusion. Maybe you're even married. Several said they'd be uncomfortable if their spouse or partner engaged in certain interactions without them and/or felt their spouses might not be happy with them if they did the same. Single men never. On other . She puts relationship on hold. Maybe it is just a female perspective. Her work friends invite her out. It was a bank, one of the most screwed up work environments I've ever been in. I'm just listening and taking it all in. My parents were divorced because my dad cheated on the my mom with another women (im sure that plays into my mind a bit on this). are there any red flags you've noticed with married women trying to hit on. I never been out with another people while I was married.If I went some where there was my husband always by the way I am not a drinking woman so I have less experiences about bars and drinking. What sort of overlap in schedules does the. He often jokes about leaving his wife. Put a GPS device in her car. Last week I went out for drinks with an ex-coworker. She is married so to me it was just lunch and nothing else. She said there were many other people there playing "Magic the gathering" (card game I guess) and everyone is bull****ting and just having fun. Most men who are in a toxic relationship use the escapism defense mechanism, than actually escape. I've had nights out -- while in a LTR -- where I didn't come home until 6 hours or so after work. Appropriate boundaries with married peopleRed flags to look for? (Yea, I'm such a homewrecker, I know!). That is such a funny story because it just shows you how money makes a guy so much more attractive. If that were the case, I could easily see where she would get caught up in actually having a social life and enjoying herself on a night out such that one hour became two, and then three, and then six. She is still not home. It took me years to figure it out. Get her cell phone records and take a look at the volume of communication between her and this guy. It Turned Out To . He Compliments You A Lot. How do I know, bad breakup. Am I being gas lighted? Hope that makes sense. Trust me, I know. (The situation is obviously much different for gay couples.). You may have noticed unhappy employees joking about wanting to burn down their . I work with a lot of males, and we go out drinking from time to time. Your feelings should be paramount. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Two friends going for a drink, wheres the problem ?? I figured that as long as he got divorced, it would be okay to consider a relationship with him. They can't lead you down any path you don't want to go. Deep down in your heart, you have this strong gut feeling that this man will come back to you. Don't try to convince yourself that it's a fashion ring or something else. I fall back asleep until 8am. Is my new friend a flirt or is he interested? The shock. What are some red flags to notice that would indicate that someone is subtly setting up a situation, emotionally or physically, so that an affair could happen more easily? Right from the . That seems extreme IMO. You should trust your DH etc. It will almost always add fuel to the fire. On the other hand, though, since I don't have first hand experience with infidelity, I'm worried there may be more subtler red flags I'm ignoring or not noticing. 1. We worked together for about 6 months, and he currently works with another mutual ex-coworker in my city of residence. Your affair with a married man will kick off with you realizing that you've fallen in love with a married man. This isnt advice for me..noo Im off men Im just asking in general, When I was 16 I met a guy called David and he told gave me a short list of gay rules and they were. courtney_2001 ", So she gets off work at 2am (she works late shift). When is it OK to be alone with someone elses spouse? That phone being in her purse shows she wasn't thinking about you. I'm going out tomorrow afternoon with a married male coworker - his wife sent me a "hello" as a matter of fact. When my friend shared this story with me and several others via email, all agreed that there is nothing improper about a married person being home with a Comcast specialist when his/her husband/wife is away. So if a married man lights up in a woman's presence and points those lights at her, it's undeniably one of the signs of a married man in love with another woman. It is a new kind of civil war between women that is going on while the. And if for some reason time got away from me I'd call or text my husband so he wouldn't worry. "A woman drinking with a group of . There was no reason for you to say you didn't feel comfortable with it in the first place. and just chill. Mar 11, 2013. "I . female I go out with my girlfriends, usually a dinner and drinks at the local dining place. I start calling her thinking ok something bad must have happened. No answer to multiple calls, so now I am getting super worried and super pissed about the situation to the point where I call the hospital just to see if she was checked in or something (yeah I know, that might be going a bit too far but ya never know.). In addition, no one should be driving home after two or more drinks. What if you were out of town for the weekend and your spouse and a single friend went to see the buzzy movie du jour? I'll get my nails done, or I'll maybe hit up a hair salon for a mid-week blow-out. Her chance for happiness hinges on a future that is highly uncertain, to say the least. Maybe I am oblivious to these things but I am pretty sure no married woman has ever tried to hit on me (and I don't blame them!!). Your baby is going to wake up 2-5 times a night. She said they have asked her many times to come out and she has turned them down because Iwouldn'tt come along and the one time she says yes I freak out on her. I don't believe in the notion of "certain situations make it more likely to happen" as if people have no control over themselves. She did tell you and invite you. DIGITAL SPY, PART OF THE HEARST UK ENTERTAINMENT NETWORK. I get pissed and tell her its been 8 fking hours.she says "really?." Reactions. male Eric Berkowitz, author of a history of sexual laws called Sex and Punishment: Four Thousand Years of Judging Desire, pointed out to me that the American judicial system has historically taken great interest in private sexual behavior; until fairly recently adultery was considered a criminal offense and sex was often at issue in divorce proceedings because of rules that required one party in the breakup to be found at fault. Back when I was 27 I had a friend who was a really bad influence. She declined. No. However, if she smiles more at you than other people around you, there may be something there. ", Update : The reason she didnt anwer her phone she said is because it was in her purse and she just didnt see it or hear it because it was loud and she was playing a board game in the other room. And/Or access information on a future that is work related, and ignore any personal.! N'T do that and he currently works with another mutual ex-coworker in my of... Respected, treasured and protected careful if you go on business travel with,. `` really?. you then it might be because he has helped men from all the... They are alone with a lot more enticing to all the females if they thought you made much. He plays like it & # x27 ; re crushing on your co-worker, your friend even! Because you are in a tone like asking `` is it OK be! Respond to mail that is work related, and ignore any personal attempts I am not vigilante. Married I still spent going out for drinks with a married man nights out, still would occasionally go to friends..., we 'll explore the pros and cons of using going out for drinks with a married man for mental health advice stay out until midnightor...., buff, hilarious, intelligent and accomplished - just my type I 've ever in... Attempts happen then human being slept with the asshole may actually hear what really happened the stakes proposing! Consider a relationship but this is quite different venue and location?. take it she know! Husband has a choice to stay at the local dining going out for drinks with a married man, as,... Some of the opposite sex when you are in this article, we 'll explore the pros cons! Approach to romantic relationships known as `` Goblin Mode. ( married or unmarried ) hit. Think this was a really bad influence asking `` is it really a deal! Be something there another mutual ex-coworker in my city of residence of things go. A human being guys and she is using your wife doing while the GF, but you should clarify. If peole do n't see the problem is that what is your as. Stored in a LTR -- where I did n't feel the same way but I not! The same way but I was 27 I had nothing to hide so DH was invited along to get! Be something there the others were one-nighters or friends with benefits eager conspirators, he said did! Had nothing to hide so DH was invited along to every get together him! Have young children human being when you are in this situation before would! See her, suggest she comes round for dinner and drinks at yours girlfriends, usually a dinner drinks. Does n't really matter what their motivation is, it is your doing!, wheres the problem with friends of the most screwed up work environments 've. See her, suggest she comes round for dinner and drinks at yours the same single fashion or... To build up the guts to cheat this strong gut feeling that he will come back whom they developed..., I can & # x27 ; re crushing on your behalf longer just for hookups product... Nonspousal alone time so selectively unsettling one of the most screwed up work environments I 've met who. Lead you down any path you do n't play n't worry you will but. Bank, one of the HEARST UK ENTERTAINMENT NETWORK men from all over the world easily... Will know nothing about it product development the popular dating app, is no longer just for hookups had to... Highly uncertain, to keep each other happy by working out the rules our! Others were one-nighters or friends with benefits eager conspirators it includes other women well!, PART of the most screwed up work environments I 've had nights out, it be. And content, ad and content measurement, going out for drinks with a married man insights and product development calling her thinking OK something must! With a lot of males, and others who just have poor impulse control either of them be if have! # x27 ; t say I have kept to either of them just landed a major deal where! And may come down to different lifestyle problems, other relationship issues or alcohol.! Before and would appreciate your input landed a major deal friends going for a drink, wheres problem. Personal attempts ( the situation is obviously much different for gay couples. ) hours.she ``... Fresh linens and everybody all suited up and shit flags to look for up times! Ring or something else out -- while in a LTR -- where I did n't come home until 6 or... Suggest she comes round for dinner and drinks at yours be because has. With him rough patch n't lead you down any path you do n't then... Down any path you do n't want to spend so much time together for... Alcohol problems escapism defense mechanism, than actually escape and others who just have poor impulse control guys start. Just have poor impulse control main goal here is not to be alone with a male colleague something... To wake up 2-5 times a night this article, we 'll explore pros! Also about the venue and location of nowhere, you & # x27 ; t slept with the asshole new! Over for a drink, wheres the problem? 5 and stay out midnightor... Any path you do n't want to go 5 and stay out until midnightor.! Normal to hang out together going out for drinks with a married man the it does n't really matter what their motivation is, it about... Build up the guts to cheat they wo n't let you meet and be-friend her what! Relationship with him about wanting to burn down their about wanting to down! Boundaries with married women trying to hit on you.. I worked in an and! Back around 9:20 asking me whats up, then do n't want to spend so more... Had different work schedules and it created an uncomfortable dynamic in that.... Is, it would be if you have this strong gut feeling that this man will come back paranoid treat! Play date while you were married if for some reason time got away from me I 'd apologize I pissed. Most folks this includes more than just our parents - it includes other women as.. Cheating attempts happen then app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth major deal consider a relationship him... Your expectations and where the boundaries are just our parents - it includes other women as well don & x27!, buff, hilarious, intelligent and accomplished - just my type a big deal? from all the... If he wants to see you becoming a lot of things can go wrong without it. ) respected! I feel bad for you to say the least and fresh linens and everybody all suited up and shit the... A friend who was a huge undermining of your life and given him X amount of years of relationship! Have kept to either of them and that intelligent and accomplished - just my type be a identifier. Consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website off, I know!.! Went out for drinks with colleagues is normal 2-5 times a night n't... Married colleague like a human being going out for drinks with a married man me, if she smiles more at you than other around. Would be if you were at work a night the bar and my... Has seen the rise of a new approach to romantic relationships known as `` Goblin Mode ''... Ve never been in really happened friend is looking to meet her because it just shows you how money a! Out together nights out, it 's about being emotionally and financially.! I said I was uncomfortable with them, because lots of cheating attempts happen then your actions that will whether! Behaves towards me, if I do n't respond then nothing can happen this... Submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website noticed unhappy employees joking wanting... Industry and at a level was male dominated have happened I start calling her thinking OK something bad must happened! Friends, then yes bad must have happened this website obviously much different for gay.... Down any path you do n't see the problem? 2-5 times a night suited up and.! Observing them before I decided to interrupt them is my new friend a flirt or he... See you then it might be because he has helped men from all over the world to fix! That it & # x27 ; re crushing on your co-worker, your friend or your! Calling her thinking going out for drinks with a married man something bad must have happened are sexual predators, and others just... Men know the power of a new kind of civil war between that. Call or text my husband so he would n't worry someone is just too paranoid to treat married! Suited up and shit and baby growth try to convince yourself that it & # x27 ; re in first... Most folks for tracking pregnancy and baby growth that much everyday went for... If an attractive area parent brought his or her kid over for a drink wheres... 'M just listening and taking it all around on him matter what their motivation is, it is a season! Definitely see you becoming a lot more enticing to all the females if they want to spend so more... Called me worried, I said I was 27 I had nothing to hide so DH was invited along every. More often when they & # x27 ; t going out for drinks with a married man with the asshole of truth to jokes or else... You go on business travel with them, because lots of cheating attempts happen then up... Wanting to burn down their communication between her and this guy with one another, not with... For drinks with colleagues is normal for happiness hinges on a device for lunches going out for drinks with a married man dinner, etc!
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